Horoscopes: Christmas edition

Your favorite duo’s back and better than ever—but a little more holly jolly-er! Welcome to Horoscopes 2.0: Holiday Edition, where you’ll find out which beloved Christmas tune you relate to the most.

 

Aries: “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” by Gayla Peevey

As always, your demanding nature is taking full charge this holiday season. Don’t worry about settling for a rhino or any other exotic animal, you WILL be getting that hippopotamus. Though we’ll have to find another place to store Scorpio’s latest baby blue convertible, as your new hippo hero will be taking up her residence in the garage.

 

Taurus: “That’s Christmas to Me” by Pentatonix

A classic Pentatonix jam, this song relates to your ever-present desire to be home, cuddled by the fire with your loved ones. The real meaning of the holiday season to you is the gift of family and friends. Of course, a few presents couldn’t hurt either (jewelry, chocolates…nothing too extravagant).

 

Gemini: “Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms

A Mean Girls fanatic, you’re ready to let the jingle hop begin! Have fun this holiday season, but try and refrain from going full out Regina George if your significant other gets you a less-than-perfect present. Realize that, like Cady Heron, they’re just intimidated by you, hunny.

 

Cancer: “Last Christmas” by Wham

This holiday season, you may be stuck under the mistletoe without a snogging partner. And Last Christmas, you thought you would be spending every one of Jesus’ birthdays with a special someone. One mug of eggnog later, you are stuck in the snow with a letterman’s jacket and no one to give it to or even worse, you had to return a jacket with someone else’s last name on it. You will soon realize that the pain from last Christmas is still lingering and “Last Christmas” is blending with this Christmas.

 

Leo: “All I Want for Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey

Oh Leo, sweetie, the stars have aligned in your favor this Christmas. You end up under the mistletoe with literally the most attractive person you may have ever seen, you get the one thing you wanted so desperately for Christmas but didn’t ask for because you didn’t think you had a chance at getting it, and you aced every singe exam! Must be nice.

 

Virgo: “Hallelujah” by Pentatoni\This breathtaking masterpiece perfectly encapsulates your spirit, dear Virgo. Your ideal holiday involves the traditional elements and your immaculately decorated house, complete with six Christmas trees, is the perfect spot for hosting. Surely, this Pentatonix jam will be a hit with all your guests, and may even make the fam cry.

 

Libra: “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” by ‘NSYNC

What’s Christmas without a little 90s throwback? This ‘NSYNC hit surely gets you in the holiday spirit and you’ll soon find yourself in the mall, searching high and low for the perfect presents for everyone on the nice list. Try not to fret over gift giving too much; I’m sure your parents will love the bath towel, patterned or solid.

 

Scorpio: “Santa Baby” by Madonna

Not even the holidays can dull your scandalous spirit! Channel your inner Madonna these next few months and a ‘54 convertible (light blue, of course) could be in your future. Who knows, maybe you’ll even get the “deed to a platinum mine!” The sky’s the limit, my friend.

 

Sagittarius: “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber

Your usually adventurous self cannot wait to chill with family and friends. Like Justin, you’ll find yourself spending quality time with others (maybe even under the mistletoe) instead of participating in the annual neighborhood snowball fight. But you’ll obviously still go tobogganing— no one is worth giving that up for!

 

Capricorn: “Drummer Boy” by Justin Bieber featuring Busta Rhymes

Your love for all things classic is crystal clear in this song, but Bieber’s version helps satiate your fun and quirky side. No wonder you and Aquarius get along so well! Like the song, your holiday will turn out to be classical, yet with a twist of the unexpected. But, don’t expect Busta Rhymes himself to celebrate the new year with you. Darn!

 

Aquarius: “12 Days of Christmas” by Straight No Chaser

Similar to Capricorn, you appreciate the classics, but this fun rendition of “12 Days of Christmas” symbolizes your eccentric nature. A combination of multiple Christmas jams, this song portrays just how much you love all things holiday. Have a merry one, Aquarius, and be sure to be as jolly as this tune.

 

Pisces: “Baby It’s Cold Outside” by Idina Menzel featuring Michael Bublé

Quite possibly the cutest Christmas song, it’s only fitting for you, Pisces. Your innocent and sweet nature will not only cause you to be the best gift giver, but will allow you to make holiday magic happen. Just don’t forget that your “maiden aunt’s mind is vicious.”  So, no late Christmas nights for you!