A letter to my future self

As college looms and I’m forced to make decisions about my future, I can’t help but wonder what that will look like. I will still be short, or “petite” as my doctor kindly refers to it, but everything else is undecided.

Would 18-year-old me recognize 30-year-old me? 50-year-old me?

I hope so. Some things have to change (like living with my parents), but I still want to be myself.

Future me will still blare music and sing as loud as possible in the car after a bad day. I’ll continue to treat myself to ice cream for no particular reason and eat mac and cheese for almost every meal.

I thought I’d write a letter to the version I hope to become, as a little motivation to get there someday.

Dear future me,

Put down the coffee. You have already been up for an unhealthy amount of time and caffeine is not an acceptable substitute for sleep. Drink some water, I’m begging you.

Now, with that being said, let’s get down to business. (You just unconsciously started humming “I’ll Make a Man Out of You,” so I need you to bring it back.)

I’m picturing sand under my toes, a new novel in my hands and sunglasses on my eyes. Somewhere warm, soaking up the sun after 18 years of dreary Midwest weather. Maybe a beachfront house in South Carolina or Florida.

Completing the daydream is a fruity drink with a decorative umbrella, which is periodically refilled.

However, a nagging voice tells me a workaholic with a coffee addiction is probably closer to the truth. I’ll also probably be knee deep in snow and corn. You can take the girl out of Wayne County, but never Wayne County out of the girl.

I sincerely hope you have learned how to budget properly, otherwise Barnes and Noble is still receiving an obnoxious amount of every paycheck. Your book collection is already large enough, I promise.

Call Dad every week, just to check in. Keep up with the Indians and Cowboys so you have something to talk about. Ask about work, listen to the subsequent rants about customers, subfloors and drywall. Treat him to breakfast whenever you visit and let him make fun of the fact that you appreciate a good caramel mocha. Straight black coffee is gross and I’m positive that opinion hasn’t changed. He has been there through everything, so be there in return.

You still text your mom for everything, even though you are probably miles and states away at this point. It’s a hard habit to break, so she’s still your first call when you’re confused or just on the edge of breakdown because adult life is hard. Cherish that, because she will always be honest, even if it’s not the answer you’re searching for.

James will probably be a pro athlete at this point or well on his way. That kid is dedicated when he sets his sights on a goal. Keep him humble though. He needs to be mocked every day to keep his ego in check. Even though the two of you tease, you do love him. Go to his games. Spend the money on a plane ticket. I promise it will be worth it.

Most of all, I want you to be happy, loved and fulfilled. Find a career you love and are excited to wake up for each day. Life is too short to be miserable. Just do your best, as that’s pretty good.

Sincerely,

18-year-old you who can’t wait to see what happens