Definitive Ranking of Valentines

Karlie Backer, Staff Reporter|February 12, 2018

In grade school, nothing was better than finding your favorite candies in your poorly-decorated brown paper bag at your class Valentine’s Day party. Check out this definitive ranking of candy to see what you should get your sweetheart this year.

  1. The most important valentine was definitely the holy grail of candies– the Fun Dip. Who could forget the days of dipping that white stick of pure sugar in more sugar that was sure to give you cavities and stain your teeth blue or red?
  2. Coming in second to the packet of pure sugar, the box of pure sugar. Nerds, ladies and gentlemen, were one of the most iconic and delicious Valentine’s Day treats you could give or receive.
  3. Heart-shaped Jolly Rancher suckers were a classic item to find, and a sweet treat to give to your sweetheart.
  4. Nestlé Crunch Hearts were a staple of grade school Valentine’s Day parties. You most likely had 30 of them in your bag, but you never got tired of them.
  5. Valentine’s-themed fruit snacks were always a win, probably because they were always delicious, no matter what holiday it was.
  6. Reese’s Peanut Butter Hearts were a rare find, but always a delicious treat. The ratio of peanut butter to chocolate is inarguably superior than that of an average Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.
  7. There was always one or two kids in the class that put a hand-full of Hershey’s Kisses in everyone’s bag, but you never knew who it was from because they never left an actual valentine. Whoever you were, we’re appreciative!
  8. The most useless candy to receive on Valentine’s Day was a Dum-Dum. Honestly, if you’re going to buy suckers, you might as well spend the extra 50 cents on the bag of Blow Pops.
  9. The most infamous of all valentines candies were undoubtedly conversation hearts. They weren’t good, but you always had a good time reading the fun sayings on them.
  10. Ranking last on the list are the candyless valentines, sloppily signed, often addressed to no one, that (dare it say it) were extremely insulting to receive. That’s what you get when the teacher says, “If you participate, you must bring a valentine for everyone.”