Akron City Council announces leaf removal schedule


photo via Britannica

On September 29 of 2020, the Akron City Council released the much anticipated “Leaf Removal” Schedule for the upcoming season. Pick up dates span from November 2nd all the way to December 9th, making this a truly remarkable assortment of dates. The experts in leaf pickup and extraction safety procedures on the Akron City Council strongly advise that parents prohibit their children from “[Playing] in the leaves on or near the street”. Although at first glance this suggestion may seem like textbook governmental abuse of power by its limitation of children’s right to pursuit of happiness, it is imperative that the population of Akron remember that these limitations exist not to suppress the freedom of the populace but rather to coddle the voters of tomorrow.

It must also be noted that in addition to the aforementioned ban on leaf-frolicking, vehicles may not be parked on the leaves and must be kept off of the street at all times on pickup days, no branches may be placed within the confines of the leaf pile, and lastly–  by penalty of fine– leaves may NEVER be raked onto the street after they have been collected on the scheduled pick-up day. In the event of unanticipated weather irregularities, this list and incurring safety measures are subject to change.

Should anyone find offense or wish to attain further information about proper leaf extraction procedures and safety precautions, they may, at their own discretion, contact the Mayor’s Action Center at (330)-375-2311 or visit the “Leaf Removal Page” on the Akron City Council webpage.