Maia’s mailbox

Maia, 

What’s the worst way you can ask a girl to prom?

-Just Wondering

Dear Just Wondering,

There are so many reasons you could be asking this question and so many responses I could give you.

If you’re already dating your lovely date-to-be, no need to worry about embarrassing yourself in front of her, unless she’s really judgmental or something. 

Well, you might be embarrassing yourself in front of other people. But as long as you don’t care, go you.

If you don’t know her as well, though — don’t ask her in front of a bunch of people, don’t do anything crazy, and please, I’m begging you, do not sing. 

Hopefully that helps. 

-Maia

Maia,

How should I address underclassmen sitting outside during lunch and parking in the V lot… without violence? 

-Agitated Senior

Dear Agitated Senior,

Believe me, I feel you there. Freshmen just don’t understand the superiority that us seniors inherently have.

And since we can’t address this with violence (no matter how much you might want to kick the perpetrators in their tiny shins), we’re gonna have to be *gag* polite.

I know.

But the freshmen look up to us, whether they want to admit it or not, and ruining that reputation would also ruin any chances of them getting the heck out of our lunch and parking spots.

Or maybe we should just force the school to enforce our senior privileges.

Yeah, I think that’s a much better idea. 

Best of luck to all of us on this one.

-Maia

Maia,

How do I get through the rest of this year while putting in the absolute least amount of effort?

-Senior Slider

Dear Senior Slider,

Dang, something that’s really right up my alley! I’ve survived on the absolute minimum effort in school for the last 4 years, so I have a lot of tips and tricks — many involving extreme bouts of procrastination.

Honestly, I wish that was not something I could relate to though. 

So, I wouldn’t recommend following in my footsteps. Quite honestly.

-Maia

Maia,

My friends have all abandoned me because I won’t let them copy my 30 minutes of history homework. What should I do? 

-Not Mr. Yanko

Dear Not Mr. Yanko,

I have a sneaking suspicion that this is Mr. Yanko. I don’t know, maybe it’s just a hunch. 

-Maia

Maia, 

Why are teenage boys so scared of commitment? 

-Tired Teen Girl 

Dear Tired Teen Girl,

If I’m being completely honest, I have the same fear and I have no clue why.

Also, daily reminder that boys aren’t worth the waste of time and energy that should be used being a baddie. 

-Maia