Unforeseen tragedies claim lives every day and it’s no secret that reactions to such events are heavily influenced by our connection to the victims. In no situation is this truth more evident than in the wake of a celebrity’s passing, as we all have very unique attachments to those in the public eye. 

Hearing about Kobe Bryant’s death was an inexplicably difficult experience for a lot of people, whether or not they understood his importance in their lives before that point. When such a prominent celebrity as Bryant dies, it’s as if you’re witnessing the humanization of some seemingly omnipotent entity, of someone you’d subconsciously regarded as constant and untouchable. His passing brings to light a deeply terrifying realization: life is fragile and never guaranteed.

Now, it’s not that we didn’t know this. No sane man believes himself to be above death. I think the true basis of our fear lies in a troubling question that we keep asking but can’t answer. A man like Bryant—a legend, a star so clearly in the process of crafting a lasting legacy—struck down before accomplishing all that we know he could’ve. Why?

Such unanswerable questions frustrate me to no end, especially since the uncertainty they create leaves me feeling so utterly vulnerable and afraid. I imagine that those with deeper attachments to Bryant than me are even more so disheartened. 

In pursuit of solace amidst this anger and confusion, I strive to take lessons away from the tragedy of Bryant’s passing. The first has involved a strengthening of my faith in divine providence. Aggravating as it may be, I’m reminded to concede my relentless thirst for answers and recognize that all is in God’s hands, not mine. Even in the wake of tragic death and destruction, I need to have faith in His plan and embrace uncertainty as part of being human.

Bryant’s death has also reminded me to evaluate my priorities on multiple levels. The media response to his passing served as the strongest reminder of this necessity. As we all know, there was no shortage of critiques regarding the actions of news outlets like TMZ, but I elect not to dwell on their mistakes. After all, I’m focusing on reserving final judgments. I will, however, learn from their missteps never to allow my professional ambitions to overshadow my humanity.

I’ll also focus on prioritizing my family going forward. Amidst this heartbreaking and tragic event, I’ve been able to find some semblance of comfort in the knowledge that Gianna and her father were together until the end. Though I’ll never know for sure, I’d like to imagine that, in those final moments, they held each other tight. I’d like to imagine that, in what was easily one of the most terrifying situations known to man, they had family to keep them strong. I want that kind of bond with those I hold dear—that light-in-the-darkness, sure-thing-in-a-storm type of connection that only stems from meaningful cultivation and uninhibited love.

Bryant was never the type of player to wait for a play to develop around him—he was the playmaker. It would be a great injustice if I were to sit around waiting for others to initiate the deeper relationships that I want to develop. From here on out, I’m calling the plays. I’m going to be the one declaring family game night and taking my sister to watch volleyball games. I’ll be the one asking my little brother all about his day at school and listening actively as my dad tells the same story he’s told a hundred times before. I’m done taking that Kobe-and-Gianna type of love for granted.

The final lesson I’ll take from this tragic accident hit me as I joined the tear-soaked brigade of Twitter users scrolling through a timeline of Kobe tribute videos and prayers for the victims’ families. 

“If you want to see Kobe, he’s all around us,” a tweet from social media personality @TylerAtoms read. “He’s Devin Booker’s post up game. He’s Demar DeRozan’s footwork. He’s Kyrie Irving’s clear out and let me go 1 on 5 mentality. He’s LeBron’s leadership. He’s Luka Dončić, Trae Young, and so many others’ emerging stardom. He is eternal.”

It’s true that life is fleeting, but Bryant’s spirit, legacy and heart live on in the words and actions of each player, relative, friend and fan he impacted, directly or otherwise. He is not gone. 

So many of us worry about the concrete marks we make on the world. We want to be remembered for something big. We want the promotion, the award, the title or the fame, but what we fail to recognize is that it’s not Bryant’s sickest shots or championship speeches that are trending across the internet and bringing the nation to tears. Rather, the video we’re most often seeing is a nine-second clip of Kobe and Gianna talking basketball—sharing an intimate father-daughter moment—on the sideline at the Barclays Center. 

If you take anything from this reality, understand the impact that your presence has on the people around you. Bryant’s basketball legacy might lose its luster with time, but the daughters he raised, players he inspired and friends he enlivened will forever carry on the lessons they learned from him—this, to me, is the true legacy of Kobe Bryant.