RIP Vine: An Ode to the Beloved App

Warning: Members of older generations and non-vining youth will not understand most references in this piece.

Vine. We all know and love the six second videos. Since the app’s release in 2013, these humorous videos have saturated the internet, undeniably bringing joy and laughter to us all.

True fans will remember the good old days when King Bach and Lele Pons ruled the app. Icons emerged, giving the internet Gavin and Patricia, the characters many familiar with the app idolize today.

“Woooow.” These legendary quips and Vine remarks have created an epidemic among our generation. If you hear at least five Vine references in a day, odds are, it’s been a pretty good day, but hey, “THAT’S MY OPINION.”

Without Vine, we wouldn’t know that bananas actually are as slippery as they are in cartoons or the acceptable distance for two bros to chill in a hot tub- vital information for everyday life. Would anyone have gone to Tre’s basketball game if he hadn’t told us that he was point guard and has shoot game? And most importantly, we wouldn’t know that they were, in fact, roommates.

Since the release of Vine, I’ve desperately been in search of Del Taco to try the infamous “freshavocado”. Every Wednesday, almost as if on cue, I quote the famous “it is Wednesday my dudes” that is sure to get a laugh. Thanks to the app, I know that it is not only encouraged, but expected to bring a birthday gift to a birthday party on someone’s birthday.

Vine has consumed my life so much that I am incapable of saying Lebron James’ name normally. Everytime I see a “roadwork ahead” sign, I feel the urge to say “yeah I sure hope it does.” When I put on lipstick I am extra cautious not to spill it on my mother’s Valentino white bag (even though she doesn’t have one), and never will I ever drop my croissant.

If you’ve ever heard a vine reference and didn’t know what it was about, just ask Miss Keisha. Oops, nevermind she’s dead.

But, like the lifetime of a vine video, the app seemed to end just as fast.  On  Oct. 6 of 2016, tragedy struck. Vine was suddenly shut down and taken off the App Store. With a multitude of reasons, the best guess for its death was that the app was ahead of its time, not gaining enough popularity and becoming too expensive. The owner of vine, Dom Hofmann, officially shut down the app due to these issues.

Dom, I can’t believe you’ve done this.

Since this dreadful event, Vines have taken over Twitter in the form of “Vine threads.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve spent hours watching them when I should have been studying or doing homework. It’s slowly becoming teenagers’ most popular pastime, unless you’re too busy at oovoo javer.

Finally, over a year later, Hofmann announced Vine 2, a follow-up to the glorified app.

But is it just a rumor? Since its announcement, no information has been given about its content or release date, crushing our dreams yet again. For now, all we can do is reminisce on the beautiful memories of Hurricane Tortilla, potatoes flying around the room and Jared, who never learned how to read.

All we can say for now is that we love you, and we miss you (cue race car). We ain’t gon never stop lovin you, Vine.